The Twelve Days of Rentmas

Music.Posted January 24, 2016. 461 words.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

On the first day of renting, My landlord gave to me: A junk pile in the garden.

On the second day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the third day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the fourth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the fifth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the sixth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the seventh day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the eighth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the ninth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the tenth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Ten disturbances, Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the eleventh day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Eleven cracks tears and bumps, Ten disturbances, Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the twelfth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Twelve quid less a day, Eleven cracks tears and bumps, Ten disturbances, Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.


Some liberties may have been taken with the truth in order to fit the message to tune.