The Twelve Days of Rentmas

Posted January 24, 2016.Music.461 words.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

On the first day of renting, My landlord gave to me: A junk pile in the garden.

On the second day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the third day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the fourth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the fifth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the sixth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the seventh day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the eighth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the ninth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the tenth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Ten disturbances, Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the eleventh day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Eleven cracks tears and bumps, Ten disturbances, Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.

On the twelfth day of renting, My landlord gave to me: Twelve quid less a day, Eleven cracks tears and bumps, Ten disturbances, Nine house showings, Eight worn out cabinets, Seven failed traps, Six rats a hiding, Five dank bedrooms, Four wonky desks, Three leaking sinks, Two dark toilets, And a junk pile in the garden.


Some liberties may have been taken with the truth in order to fit the message to tune.